LotusTalk - The Lotus Cars Community - View Single Post

JeffYoung · 12-06-2007, 07:45 PM

On a fine spring day some years back, I was tooling down the road in my '78 Chevy LUV. All four cylinders of Isuzu power were a-thumpin' a-way, and I could feel all 58 horsepower pounding down into the pavement. Ah, the feeling of 53 mph! I was a lone soldier, patroling the roads of style and taste.

I came to an intersection at a barren crossroads, and heard, behind me, a distinctive bark of a flat crank V8. It sounded like a 14 year old mongrel being put out of its misery, its plaintive wail reverberating off of semi-hewn fiberglass before escaping into the pristine air.

I looked up into the rear view and there it was! A Lotus Esprit V8! I could feel all 8 lbs of boost struggling to escape its wastegate, I could see the white Ray Bans and gold chains on the driver, and I could feel the weight of teh stack of repair receipts in its glovebox...rebuilt tranny.....cylinder liners....turbos.....brake rotors....radiator...ignition boxes......I began to slink into the seat in fear that some of this might rub off on my heretofore reliable Isuzu/Chevy Frankenpickup!

The light at the barren intersection blinked red to green. I slotted the four speed in 1st and pushed the gas through the rust hole in the floor. The Chevy inched forward, straining for speed ...1 mph...2 mph...3 mph......

The Lotus pulled along side of me. The driver, clearly drunk, babbled something about equator and rotation and such. I ignored it, focused on the task at hand...beat that Lotus-Beast!

I shifted to second at 11 mph. I was losing ground, but knew that time was on my side. The Lotus driver pushed the gas on his uncorked V8, and the mongrel wail rose to a fever pitched. The Lotus launched into the distance, its backwash so powerful as to toussle the part in my hair, and slow the rotation of the earth. I knew I had to act.

I shifted to third. And then, a chance! All eight connecting rods let out a final mongrel yelp, and took off through the Lotus block for the hills. The Lotus slowed to a crawl, spewing fluids and otherwise, well, looking like an Esprit.

I pulled up in front of the Lotus. Only one thing left to do to save the world. I put the Luv in reverse, and began pushing the Lotus back, back, backin time. I hit that magical number of 8 mph, in reverse. The Earth's rotation was corrected! I saved the world!

12-06-2007, 07:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	The Battle Royale On a fine spring day some years back, I was tooling down the road in my '78 Chevy LUV. All four cylinders of Isuzu power were a-thumpin' a-way, and I could feel all 58 horsepower pounding down into the pavement. Ah, the feeling of 53 mph! I was a lone soldier, patroling the roads of style and taste. I came to an intersection at a barren crossroads, and heard, behind me, a distinctive bark of a flat crank V8. It sounded like a 14 year old mongrel being put out of its misery, its plaintive wail reverberating off of semi-hewn fiberglass before escaping into the pristine air. I looked up into the rear view and there it was! A Lotus Esprit V8! I could feel all 8 lbs of boost struggling to escape its wastegate, I could see the white Ray Bans and gold chains on the driver, and I could feel the weight of teh stack of repair receipts in its glovebox...rebuilt tranny.....cylinder liners....turbos.....brake rotors....radiator...ignition boxes......I began to slink into the seat in fear that some of this might rub off on my heretofore reliable Isuzu/Chevy Frankenpickup! The light at the barren intersection blinked red to green. I slotted the four speed in 1st and pushed the gas through the rust hole in the floor. The Chevy inched forward, straining for speed ...1 mph...2 mph...3 mph...... The Lotus pulled along side of me. The driver, clearly drunk, babbled something about equator and rotation and such. I ignored it, focused on the task at hand...beat that Lotus-Beast! I shifted to second at 11 mph. I was losing ground, but knew that time was on my side. The Lotus driver pushed the gas on his uncorked V8, and the mongrel wail rose to a fever pitched. The Lotus launched into the distance, its backwash so powerful as to toussle the part in my hair, and slow the rotation of the earth. I knew I had to act. I shifted to third. And then, a chance! All eight connecting rods let out a final mongrel yelp, and took off through the Lotus block for the hills. The Lotus slowed to a crawl, spewing fluids and otherwise, well, looking like an Esprit. I pulled up in front of the Lotus. Only one thing left to do to save the world. I put the Luv in reverse, and began pushing the Lotus back, back, backin time. I hit that magical number of 8 mph, in reverse. The Earth's rotation was corrected! I saved the world! Last edited by JeffYoung : 12-06-2007 at 08:47 PM.