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Old 06-29-2009, 11:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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The group buy to end all group buys!

What costs $250 for one but only $50 each for twenty? Renting a garage at Laguna Seca for the Lotus Challenge Series. That’s right; $250 per day each but only $50 each if we rent all twenty. That’s a group buy even a groupaphobe could love.

I’m willing to put up the $2,000 to rent all 20 garages for Thursday and Friday, July 16 & 17, if at least 10 people will make a firm commitment at $100 per day. The actual cost per garage will be determined by how many people commit. If 15 people take garages, the cost falls to $67 per day; and if we get 20, it will be $50. I don’t want to make money on this; I just don’t want to lose any.

The garages are 16’ wide by 32’ long and have two rollup doors, one at each end. They are big enough for your Lotus and your truck if you trailer your car. Big enough to share if you don’t. You will have a key to the garage and can lock up all your things at night.

These are the same garages used by the pro teams in the American Le Mans Series, MotoGP, Speed World Challenge and Monterey Historic Races. Immersing your car in the racing vibes permeating these hallowed halls is guaranteed to increase its self-esteem over 60% and double your sexual vitality. In addition, the garages are 100% effective against the dreaded Laguna Seca Gull (the lagoon may be dry but the gulls aren’t).

If you want a garage, you can pay me at the track (cash only, please). All I need is your firm commitment at $100 per day for a 2-day rental. As I said, the final cost will be determined by how many people rent garages. The cost will not exceed $100 per day and could drop as low as $50. So far we have commitments for 6 garages; I need 4 more to feel comfortable fronting the $2,000.

The track charges $250 for each key that is not returned and an even larger fee for each garage left dirty. I will be on the hook for those charges so I also need everyone’s rock solid commitment to return their key before leaving and to make sure their garage is clean. I’ve been advised by people vastly wiser and more experienced than I in such matters that taking this on is going to be nothing but a headache. I don’t want to miss track time administering it and I don’t want to have to ask anyone for their money or their keys or remind them to leave their garage clean. I just want to have a good time on the track, learn, improve and enjoy the company of all you LCS friends.

If you want a garage and can commit to the above, just add your name and the # of garages needed to the list:

Norm - 1
Jack - 1
Tom /LPL - 1
R3 Motorsports - 3

Last edited by Noah Vail : 06-29-2009 at 11:51 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 06-30-2009, 08:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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LS Garage

Victor 1
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Norm - 1
Jack - 1
Tom /LPL - 1
R3 Motorsports - 3
apk919 - 1
Victor - 1
Don't forget Kelley...
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Don't forget Kelley...
Did you get a hold of her?
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Old 06-30-2009, 08:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Did you get a hold of her?
Yes and she wants a garage.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Kelley - 1

One more to go...
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:04 PM   #9 (permalink)
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"What? My list wasn't good enough for ya?" asks the guy that got his post in 2.6432 seconds before yours .
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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"What? My list wasn't good enough for ya?" asks the guy that got his post in 2.6432 seconds before yours .
Au contraire, I was so impressed that I deleted mine.
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Au contraire, I was so impressed that I deleted mine.
And thankfully typed this ^ so it didn't look like I was talking to myself again .
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm, however I’ve been told that some of you, in an effort to reach the goal of 10, are making statements that have not been validated yet through double-blind, placebo controlled testing.

DISCLAIMER:
Although it is true that after using a Laguna Seca garage in 2000, Helio Castroneves won the Indianapolis 500 three times, Dancing With the Stars and his battle with the IRS, there is no guarantee that renting a garage will make you faster than Brent, defuse the IRS’s obsession with that capital gain you inadvertently omitted from your 2006 return or transform your Joe-Cocker-on-crank dance floor flailing into poetry in motion. It will, however, increase the number of women willing to suffer your ballroom battering.
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:54 PM   #13 (permalink)
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and don't forget "increase (your) self-esteem over 60% and double your sexual vitality."
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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and don't forget "increase (your) self-esteem over 60% and double your sexual vitality."
Actually, the reference was to the car's self-esteem. "Immersing your car in the racing vibes permeating these hallowed halls is guaranteed to increase its self-esteem over 60%..." The increase in driver self-esteem was so high that Underwriters Labs was not able to quantify it.
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Oh, snap. I read that wrong. Sorry for spreading misinformation.

But at least my sexual vitality will be doubled !
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
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But at least my sexual vitality will be doubled !
That is correct.
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Old 07-01-2009, 05:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I'm in
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Old 07-01-2009, 05:50 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm in


Norm - 1
Jack - 1
Tom /LPL - 1
R3 Motorsports - 3
apk919 - 1
Victor - 1
Kelley - 1
plastique999 - 1

10!
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Old 07-01-2009, 07:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by apk919 View Post


Norm - 1
Jack - 1
Tom /LPL - 1
R3 Motorsports - 3
apk919 - 1
Victor - 1
Kelley - 1
plastique999 - 1

10!
Add Roy, so we have 11 ... price per day is down to $90.91.
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:06 PM   #20 (permalink)
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For those of you who haven’t signed up, it’s not too late to put the Helio Effect to work for you. Don’t wait until the last minute to put your name on the list because once we enter those sacred temples of Can Am, Trans-Am, American Le Mans, CART and MotoGP and begin channeling Andretti… Gurney… Rahal… testosterone (and estrogen) levels surging, sexual potency skyrocketing, red mist rising, should there be any garages left we may be ruthless to those garage-less procrastinators suddenly overcome by feelings of inadequacy and glacial lap times.

Act now to avoid that painful social stigma. A scant $83/day (a trifling $50 if 9 more sign up) not only gets your inner Gurney in gear, it provides you a secure place to spread out your tools, get your car out of the sun and fix that muffler that got you blackflagged.

Last edited by Noah Vail : 07-02-2009 at 08:02 AM. Reason: I wasn't finished blathering
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