Something wicked this way comes...

[Bleu Omdurman]

It was a warm dark night in Albuquerque, NM as I ended a 900 mile drive from Springfield, MO. Most normal people would have pulled over for some sleep but, we are Lotus owners and Lotus owners are not normal. We are a special breed of car enthusiast and I in particular was excited to ride in Stephen's Race 340 Elise.

First, let me tell you that if you have never met Stephen, what a great dude. An awesome host with an upbeat and relaxed attitude. He opened his house, his car and his beer to me after only a hand shake and hello.

As I pulled into the driveway, I could see the nightfall blue Elise lurking on the right side of the garage. With the upgraded exhaust and rear panel eliminator I could tell from a distance that something dark and menacing resided within the soul of this car. Once Stephen opened the bonnet it was as if my favorite porn star had just removed her top not two feet from my nose. The engine bay was absolutely packed. The EFI ECU rested on the stock ECU location with a curious little toggle switch on top. All of the turbo goodies simply flowed from one nook in the bay to another as if the engine bay were designed by engineers in Hethel specifically for this kit. In true Lotus fashion ever little cranny had a purpose. That purpose was POWER!

In the background I could hear Stephen talking about the speed sensor that was on the car and how that interacted with the ECU to select maps and boost pressure based on what gear you were in to ensure maximum torque to the wheels without exceeding traction. He explained how the toggle switch switched from 91 octane to race fuel. I asked is it that simple? You just put race fuel in a nearly empty tank and flip the switch? Yup. I was beside myself.

But I think the real test of a tuned car is how well it idles and drives at low speeds. I'd think it was pretty easy to tune for max power on a dyno, but idling and working through traffic? That's harder. So I said, "Well its great standing around talking about cars, but lets go drive it." This is when I felt under dressed for the occasion.

You know the dream we all have in which you are about to give "the Big Presentation" and all of your bosses and their bosses are watching. You are about to go up front when you look down and you are completely naked. Ya, that feeling. I followed Stephen into the house and watched him slip on his specific for driving shoes. What brand were those Stephen? They rocked!

I sat in the passenger seat and he flipped on the accusump and then started the car. It sprung to life exactly like my New Exige did. It idled silky smooth. When he pressed in the clutch I didn't notice anything different yet. He looked at me and asked if I could hear the clutch then explained that it was clutch chatter. I listened a little more closely and I could hear a slight whisper bouncing off the walls of his garage. Those walls new what was about to happen. They silently echoed, "Something wicked this way comes." By the pricking of my thumbs, I believed them.

We moved out on to the night cloaked roads of Albuquerque and got the car up to temperature. Along the way Stephen explained a few things James bond things on the car. All of which I intend on doing to mine. Stephen you are a genius.

The magical number came up on the dash. 176 degrees. We pulled on the freeway.

(At this point let me pause for effect. I have been in some fast cars. In fact, not three days before I was in an F360 Modena F1. That car was fast, smooth and just a work of art in every way. I have been in 500ci drag cars. I have driven tanks (feels like a Cadillac) and I hove owned two Lotus's. I even had Nitrous in my Elise.)

This car crushed everything I had ever been in, ever. It would take the very best efforts of Ferrari, Porsche, Pagani, and Koenigsegg to match this demon. In every gear the car just pulled and griped at the road surface like it was angry. This car would hand most street bikes their dandies. It is that fast. And the grip! It holds corners so fast and so securely it felt like it was on railroad tracks. 6th gear felt like my car in third on the second cam. I just screamed with glee. My thighs began to shake and my hands trembled in excitement. This was the highlight of the trip, hands down.

Once we slowed down to more civilized speeds, Stephen told me it was my turn. I looked at my non-race shoe clodded feet and wondered if I would really be up to the challenge.

I sat down in the driver’s seat and it felt like my car. I pressed on the clutch and it felt like mine. The chatter was gone (probably because there were no walls for the sound to bounce off of). But when we pulled out on to the road I could feel the clutch engage a little different but a lot better. It clearly welded the transmission and the POWER plant together as one. As I squeezed the throttle, the boost gauge climbed and climbed and we progressively pushed further into our seats. There was no slamming, no turbo lag, no problems or hiccups in the tune. It was silky smooth from idle to redline and back.

There is no doubt that in a 0-100-0 MPH test between the F360 and this car, this car would win and the pilot would already have a beer opened before the Modena was done.

IN summary, I’ll say thanks to Stephen for the ride. It was a day that I put in my journal and even among those days it is chief. I was so pumped after that experience that I continued all the way to Irvine California so that I could be at cars and coffee. I was that amped. I drove 1700 miles in one shot, no hotel stop. It was that good. I have never had that level of thrill from a car before. I look forward to the day that one sits in my garage and it is only a Sunday drive away.

Thanks for a great ride, awesome hospitality, and glimpse at the potential in my own car.

Drive safe!

[xtn]

Nice write-up. I almost peed myself.

xtn

[LARRY]

[Andrikos]

Wow, awesome write-up.
I'm speechless...

[darkSol]

Originally Posted by xtn

Nice write-up. I almost peed myself.

xtn

Oops. I did.






Awesome writeup

[PhlypSide]

Nice story

[cstetter]

Wow! Which octane map were you guys running during this?

Cheers!

[RichS]

This got me so excited that I called Forced Fed and asked the $64,000 question: How much?

While it wasn't quite $64,000, it was enough to make me pause and look at the 'only $12,000' FF 275.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by cstetter

Wow! Which octane map were you guys running during this?

Cheers!

We were on the pump gas map. The one that only puts out over 40 rwhp and over 40 rw torque LESS than the race gas map. I did not have access to race gas that night since I was not expecting Trevor. I don’t know what would have happened if we had driven the car on the race gas map. I think that Trevor and I might be married now.

Trevor, that is the best write-up I have ever read; you are a master at the art of writing. The way you wrote that, I felt like I was there.

Just to let you all know, Trevor is a great guy, easy to get along with, and a man I truly respect for his service to this great country. We also had dinner together and I was not bored for a minute listening to his adventures of the past and one very interesting adventure that he has planned.

Trevor, I salute you sir.

[cstetter]

Originally Posted by Stephen

We were on the pump gas map. The one that only puts out over 40 rwhp and over 40 rw torque LESS than the race gas map.

[kestrel74]

Originally Posted by cstetter

I'll
and raise ya

[Bleu Omdurman]

Glad you all liked it.