Old 3.5 Liter V8 disrupts - LotusTalk

lotuson74 · 12-06-2007, 06:18 PM

The earth's rotation. A few years ago when I had my 04 Esprit V8 on the Earth's Equator I forgot and gave it full throttle at (26psi. & over 1,870.003658rwhp) this changed the Earth's rotation forever of which I am very sorry!!!
Just ask Al Gorgeous, that is why the Earth is warming. I appologize, I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JeffYoung · 12-06-2007, 07:45 PM

On a fine spring day some years back, I was tooling down the road in my '78 Chevy LUV. All four cylinders of Isuzu power were a-thumpin' a-way, and I could feel all 58 horsepower pounding down into the pavement. Ah, the feeling of 53 mph! I was a lone soldier, patroling the roads of style and taste.

I came to an intersection at a barren crossroads, and heard, behind me, a distinctive bark of a flat crank V8. It sounded like a 14 year old mongrel being put out of its misery, its plaintive wail reverberating off of semi-hewn fiberglass before escaping into the pristine air.

I looked up into the rear view and there it was! A Lotus Esprit V8! I could feel all 8 lbs of boost struggling to escape its wastegate, I could see the white Ray Bans and gold chains on the driver, and I could feel the weight of teh stack of repair receipts in its glovebox...rebuilt tranny.....cylinder liners....turbos.....brake rotors....radiator...ignition boxes......I began to slink into the seat in fear that some of this might rub off on my heretofore reliable Isuzu/Chevy Frankenpickup!

The light at the barren intersection blinked red to green. I slotted the four speed in 1st and pushed the gas through the rust hole in the floor. The Chevy inched forward, straining for speed ...1 mph...2 mph...3 mph......

The Lotus pulled along side of me. The driver, clearly drunk, babbled something about equator and rotation and such. I ignored it, focused on the task at hand...beat that Lotus-Beast!

I shifted to second at 11 mph. I was losing ground, but knew that time was on my side. The Lotus driver pushed the gas on his uncorked V8, and the mongrel wail rose to a fever pitched. The Lotus launched into the distance, its backwash so powerful as to toussle the part in my hair, and slow the rotation of the earth. I knew I had to act.

I shifted to third. And then, a chance! All eight connecting rods let out a final mongrel yelp, and took off through the Lotus block for the hills. The Lotus slowed to a crawl, spewing fluids and otherwise, well, looking like an Esprit.

I pulled up in front of the Lotus. Only one thing left to do to save the world. I put the Luv in reverse, and began pushing the Lotus back, back, backin time. I hit that magical number of 8 mph, in reverse. The Earth's rotation was corrected! I saved the world!

ZAMMY1 · 12-07-2007, 06:48 AM

love it!
you guys ought to have a show.
sam

xtn · 12-07-2007, 06:51 AM

You left out one VERY important bit of information. Were you headed East or West?

xtn

PS - Cuz I could do with another hour every day; for a nap.

lotuson74 · 12-07-2007, 07:27 AM

I was in Key West, Fl. pointing north to Honolulu on a Tuesday.

JeffYoung · 12-07-2007, 08:45 AM

Kirk -- he was asking me, not you.

akandok · 12-07-2007, 11:53 AM

This is hilarious

Toad · 12-07-2007, 11:55 AM

conveyor belt?

lotuson74 · 12-09-2007, 05:56 PM

Huh, what

JeffYoung · 12-09-2007, 06:39 PM

I believe he is referring to the conveyor of doom. This was the hand cranked, belt driven device that Simon, Ian and Malcolm at the Lotus factory use to pick parts from the Vauxhall, Ex-British Leyland, Toyota and Yugo parts bins when constructing the "Final Edition" Esprits.

StallionX · 12-09-2007, 06:46 PM

Jeffyoung.. the quintessential.. "HATER"

lotuson74 · 12-09-2007, 06:52 PM

Huh... What

JeffYoung · 12-09-2007, 07:22 PM

I'm a lovah, not a fightah.

Did you guys lose your sense of humor when you logged on??

lotuson74 · 12-09-2007, 07:23 PM

To awncer this, go see your pm's.

JeffYoung · 12-09-2007, 08:34 PM

I think you nailed me with the silent but deadly p.m.......shootin' blanks looks like my friend.

lotuson74 · 12-12-2007, 09:23 PM

Jeff just did a die-no run on my Esprit... his left nostril said it made 806wbhp. accross his panties & made his bow movements solid once again!! Glad to be of help...

xtn · 12-13-2007, 06:54 AM

Everybody been Kung Fu fighting...
Better move yer ass fast as lightning...

12-06-2007, 06:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	Old 3.5 Liter V8 disrupts The earth's rotation. A few years ago when I had my 04 Esprit V8 on the Earth's Equator I forgot and gave it full throttle at (26psi. & over 1,870.003658rwhp) this changed the Earth's rotation forever of which I am very sorry!!! Just ask Al Gorgeous, that is why the Earth is warming. I appologize, I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing

12-06-2007, 07:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	The Battle Royale On a fine spring day some years back, I was tooling down the road in my '78 Chevy LUV. All four cylinders of Isuzu power were a-thumpin' a-way, and I could feel all 58 horsepower pounding down into the pavement. Ah, the feeling of 53 mph! I was a lone soldier, patroling the roads of style and taste. I came to an intersection at a barren crossroads, and heard, behind me, a distinctive bark of a flat crank V8. It sounded like a 14 year old mongrel being put out of its misery, its plaintive wail reverberating off of semi-hewn fiberglass before escaping into the pristine air. I looked up into the rear view and there it was! A Lotus Esprit V8! I could feel all 8 lbs of boost struggling to escape its wastegate, I could see the white Ray Bans and gold chains on the driver, and I could feel the weight of teh stack of repair receipts in its glovebox...rebuilt tranny.....cylinder liners....turbos.....brake rotors....radiator...ignition boxes......I began to slink into the seat in fear that some of this might rub off on my heretofore reliable Isuzu/Chevy Frankenpickup! The light at the barren intersection blinked red to green. I slotted the four speed in 1st and pushed the gas through the rust hole in the floor. The Chevy inched forward, straining for speed ...1 mph...2 mph...3 mph...... The Lotus pulled along side of me. The driver, clearly drunk, babbled something about equator and rotation and such. I ignored it, focused on the task at hand...beat that Lotus-Beast! I shifted to second at 11 mph. I was losing ground, but knew that time was on my side. The Lotus driver pushed the gas on his uncorked V8, and the mongrel wail rose to a fever pitched. The Lotus launched into the distance, its backwash so powerful as to toussle the part in my hair, and slow the rotation of the earth. I knew I had to act. I shifted to third. And then, a chance! All eight connecting rods let out a final mongrel yelp, and took off through the Lotus block for the hills. The Lotus slowed to a crawl, spewing fluids and otherwise, well, looking like an Esprit. I pulled up in front of the Lotus. Only one thing left to do to save the world. I put the Luv in reverse, and began pushing the Lotus back, back, backin time. I hit that magical number of 8 mph, in reverse. The Earth's rotation was corrected! I saved the world! Last edited by JeffYoung : 12-06-2007 at 08:47 PM.

12-07-2007, 06:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
xtn McLareghini Bugatterrari Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 6,841	You left out one VERY important bit of information. Were you headed East or West? xtn PS - Cuz I could do with another hour every day; for a nap. __________________ 2006 McLareghini Bugatterrari, Storm Titanium... <mods> installed: air horn, Scroth 4-point ASM harnesses, Sector111 halon extinguisher and mounting bracket, Von Hep exhaust and rear panel delete, Pagid brake pads, red Volks CE28n wheels, Toyo RA-1 tires, Nitron SA coilovers, Sector111 (WorksBell) quick-disconnect steering wheel kit. awaiting installation: Scroth "pull-up" lap belts, Sector111 RTD Brace, Tony's heater bypass mod, and dropped steering rack mounting plates. </mods>

12-07-2007, 07:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	I was in Key West, Fl. pointing north to Honolulu on a Tuesday. __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing Last edited by lotuson74 : 12-09-2007 at 07:24 PM.

12-07-2007, 11:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
akandok 2006 Lotus Elise Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 1,808	This is hilarious __________________ “The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid people are so sure about things and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts.” Bertrand Russell John 3:16

12-07-2007, 06:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
ZAMMY1 ZAMMY Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: washington, pa, (near PGH.) Posts: 1,557	love it! you guys ought to have a show. sam

12-07-2007, 08:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	Kirk -- he was asking me, not you.

12-07-2007, 11:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
Toad A lot of stickers! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: 30 miles due east, take a right Posts: 1,703 Images: 9	conveyor belt? __________________ Jeff Formerly known as brgm100 1991 Lotus M100 Elan 2005 Lotus Elise 2008 Saturn Astra XR 3 door 5 Speed

12-09-2007, 05:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	Huh, what __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing

12-09-2007, 06:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	I believe he is referring to the conveyor of doom. This was the hand cranked, belt driven device that Simon, Ian and Malcolm at the Lotus factory use to pick parts from the Vauxhall, Ex-British Leyland, Toyota and Yugo parts bins when constructing the "Final Edition" Esprits.

12-09-2007, 06:46 PM	#11 (permalink)
StallionX BANNED Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 841	Jeffyoung.. the quintessential.. "HATER"

12-09-2007, 06:52 PM	#12 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	Huh... What __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing

12-09-2007, 07:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	I'm a lovah, not a fightah. Did you guys lose your sense of humor when you logged on??

12-09-2007, 07:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	To awncer this, go see your pm's. __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing

12-09-2007, 08:34 PM	#15 (permalink)
JeffYoung Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 837	I think you nailed me with the silent but deadly p.m.......shootin' blanks looks like my friend.

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12-12-2007, 09:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
lotuson74 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 567	Jeff just did a die-no run on my Esprit... his left nostril said it made 806wbhp. accross his panties & made his bow movements solid once again!! Glad to be of help... __________________ Kirk Will this do??? Artic silver Elise, Ohlins, Monolites, Q.S. header Arqray Ti. & more 99 Sport 190 Elise 02 Mini Cooper S 03 Dinan BMW S-3 Supercharged X-5 4.6is 06 F-250 Diesel, 11 inch lift, 1000lb ft. hauler 04 Radical SR-4 Racecar 97 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 04 Lotus Esprit V-8 TT 90 Nissan 300 zx TT showcar with 680 r.w.h.p.!! 02 BMW 330i (needed something practical!) 06 BMW M5 with Schnitzer & Dinan mods. (3) Racebikes built by Richard of Attack Racing

12-13-2007, 06:54 AM	#17 (permalink)
xtn McLareghini Bugatterrari Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 6,841	Everybody been Kung Fu fighting... Better move yer ass fast as lightning... __________________ 2006 McLareghini Bugatterrari, Storm Titanium... <mods> installed: air horn, Scroth 4-point ASM harnesses, Sector111 halon extinguisher and mounting bracket, Von Hep exhaust and rear panel delete, Pagid brake pads, red Volks CE28n wheels, Toyo RA-1 tires, Nitron SA coilovers, Sector111 (WorksBell) quick-disconnect steering wheel kit. awaiting installation: Scroth "pull-up" lap belts, Sector111 RTD Brace, Tony's heater bypass mod, and dropped steering rack mounting plates. </mods>