First dates and your Lotus

[Secret Chimp]

Originally Posted by RMurphy

To some men, it's a plus. To some men, it's a negative. To some men, it's neither. All men are different and no sweeping generalization can be applied to any one individual.

The same is true of women.

Some of my "favorite" comments uttered by various dates over time:
"So this car club stuff you're into, that's pretty much just a hobby to keep you busy right now, right?" (i guess he expected something big would happen in my life and replace this distraction/hobby he thought I have)

"What's the difference between a road race and a rally? Aren't both of those illegal?" (not actually a rude question, but just kind of an oh-boy-this-could-be-a-long-evening-of-explaining stuff sort of question)

"Wow! Really? So you're a real Tom Boy, aren't you?" (thanks... why not just call me "Butch" and move it along here?)

"What will you do when you get married and have kids? You can't keep driving sports cars then." (that one prompted a pretty colorful answer on my part which included something about how my husband at that time won't mind raising the kids since I'll have his nuts in a jar by the bed anyway. obviously there was no second date. i'm not fond of people questioning my procreative plans in that manner.)

"What kind of car will you get when you grow up?" (i was thinking of getting the latest Utilitity truck Ford is releasing to replace the F-150. it's called an F-U.)

"Aren't you afraid of crashing?" (referring to track days; again, not rude, but just an 'oh brother' kind of thing)

Generally, I smile, nod, and try to answer politely when I know the questions aren't meant with malice. But I do know then that we really don't have a good match here.

Ah, the dating scene in Los Angeles is marvelous, isn't it? When I go on dates around here, I don't usually mention cars at all unless the woman I am dating is interested in that subject. Droning on about cars to uninterested women, that is a great way to ensure a celebate life. ha!

[aschen]

I think in this day and age you don't really pick up your date until a few meetings anyways. It seems like dating starts with more casual meetings these days like meeting for coffee a few times.

Of course I am no don juan, and I am recently married. I also find the 3 date rule to be very optimistic in my case, but maybe thats my lack of "game" and the fact I was/am gennerally attracted to "good girls".

[ZAMMY1]

when i picked up my date first time (33+ years ago), now my wife, i left the new car home, didn't mention the airplane and took the two-piece honda civic.
brown in the front half, orange in the back half.
we went for a coffee date at a local coffee shop.
i figured that if she was looking at money or was too proud, i didn't need her.
pure bliss still after 33 years. still crazy about her.
also, she loved flying; my previous girlfriend was a white knuckler.

[sturgeongeneral]

Wow! After reading all the interjections here it brought back some strange date memories. I met my first wife at 14, started dating at 16, and was married for 22 years. (I started dating at 12, yes I started early). I was devastated when we split and it seemed like I had a neon sign above my head that said " Broken, POUNCE on him". It appeared that the mid 40ish woman wanted one thing, and one thing only. To get married! It did not matter wether a man drove a broken down 73 Pinto or a new Corvette, they wanted to marry. It was actually BRUTAL on the dating scene for me. All a woman saw was a guy who had been in a long term relationship=stable. Had a good carreer=$$$. Had a house=stable. Had two teenage kids=stable, fertile, and a family man. I dated a LOT of women. Had some absolute horror stories we can talk about at an event next year, and was treated as an absolute target by 95% of the women I dated. I kept my performance cars at home due to tryingto keep my monetary substance out of the picture. I did end up marrying a friend I could do things with together. I do NOT miss the dating scene one bit! As far as dating younger in life, leave the Lotus at home for the first couple dates. If a connection happens take her for a ride through the twisties. if she likes it she's a keeper, if she freaks you probably do not have a match. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

[RMurphy]

Originally Posted by Secret Chimp

Ah, the dating scene in Los Angeles is marvelous, isn't it?

I suspicion it's probably tough no matter where you are or what your interests happen to be. It's probably difficult to find meaningful connections whether your passions are planes, trains, automobiles, knitting or anything else for that matter.

[gray]

Originally Posted by RMurphy

"What's the difference between a road race and a rally? Aren't both of those illegal?" (not actually a rude question, but just kind of an oh-boy-this-could-be-a-long-evening-of-explaining stuff sort of question)

In this guy's defense, this is a legit question. There are such things as point-to-point rally races (e.g Bullrun ) which can be considered borderline illegal in some instances and road race can give the impression of "street race."

Just sayin'...

[lotusespritse]

The cool part about this thread is that we can all go to the other car forums that we follow and post the same question and be guaranteed that our thread will have the same firestorm of replies and views and be at the top of that forum for months.


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[RMurphy]

Originally Posted by gray

In this guy's defense, this is a legit question. There are such things as point-to-point rally races (e.g Bullrun ) which can be considered borderline illegal in some instances and road race can give the impression of "street race."

Just sayin'...

Like I said, I didn't think he was being rude. I admit I took the question out of context a bit when I typed it here and it's not completely fair to do that. This was the same guy who asked the odd question about car clubs and my interest being a hobby to keep me busy for now. He had imbibed more wine than he should have by then (he kept saying, "well, the wine is talking a lot here, so forgive me..." then launch into some other question, and take another sip of wine, which one would have thought he would have swapped out for coffee by then) and I was getting tired of getting grilled by him. And when I tried to ask him questions about his interests or his recent trip out of the country or his most recent blog posts, he kept saying, "Oh, but I'm so much more interested in hearing about *you*" and "I'm a very private guy" and... to the point I gave up and resigned myself to the idea the evening wasn't going to be an exchange of ideas, experiences, or information, but instead be a one sided flow of it and only from me. That gets old, particularly when your food gets cold.

By the end of the night I learned that the only information he was going to voluntarily share with me was that, according to him, his ex-wife never worked a day in their marriage even though he begged her to get a job, tried to turn their only daughter against him, and is to this day a thorn in his side. I bit my tongue. I never speak ill of my ex no matter what our differences may have been. I feel it is a terrible reflection on me if I speak poorly of a person I thought highly enough of to spend so much time with in my adult life.

And it wasn't lost on me that he saw me as the antithesis of his ex-wife, which naturally made me imagine he was drawing little hearts in the air with our pictures in the middle of them and that made me want to run screaming for the door.

The valet couldn't bring my car to me quickly enough. Oh... and he wanted to go on another date!

[JonS]

Originally Posted by Pooter

Story #2

I took a girl out last night. In fact, she is a really hot stripper that I met when I was at a strip club for a bachelor party a couple months ago.

Is she a DD?




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[Notorious]

I would love to find a girl who was into cars the same way and even better if she was more mechanically inclined than me... which just means that she can take off a wheel on a car. I am not very mechanically adept.

[SwingLo]

Originally Posted by Notorious

I would love to find a girl who was into cars the same way and even better if she was more mechanically inclined than me... which just means that she can take off a wheel on a car. I am not very mechanically adept.

If there was a way for TJ to transfer his skillz to the hot new receptionist at FVMC, we have a winner!

For those who frequent FVMC, you'll know what I'm talking about!

[Nydus]

Originally Posted by SwingLo

If there was a way for TJ to transfer his skillz to the hot new receptionist at FVMC, we have a winner!

For those who frequent FVMC, you'll know what I'm talking about!

Sounds like I might need to take my car in...

[GuppyCaptain]

Originally Posted by SwingLo

If there was a way for TJ to transfer his skillz to the hot new receptionist at FVMC, we have a winner!

For those who frequent FVMC, you'll know what I'm talking about!

Oh yeah! She makes a mean espresso......or maybe it just tastes so good because she's the one serving it. Either way................

[chris2pher]

I think my views are a bit different than the general advice given thus far in the thread. Cars are over 50% of my life. Right now the Lotus is my DD, so I have no choice, but even if I had 2 cars, I'd probably take the Lotus. I'm not going to pretend I'm something I'm not just to please a girl. I'd take the Lotus and if she hated it, she wasn't the one for me and if she IS a gold digger, I'll be able to sniff her out in other ways aside from the car.

[sb67]

Originally Posted by Notorious

I would love to find a girl who was into cars the same way and even better if she was more mechanically inclined than me... which just means that she can take off a wheel on a car. I am not very mechanically adept.

Every guy says that.
Until they meet a girl who's actually into cars and might even know more than they do.

[Podunks]

Originally Posted by sb67

Every guy says that.
Until they meet a girl who's actually into cars and might even know more than they do.

Scouts honor, I would really like that. Imagine a day together, changing the oil, changing out new performance parts, washing, and waxing....

[Nydus]

Originally Posted by sb67

Every guy says that.
Until they meet a girl who's actually into cars and might even know more than they do.

I agree, though only for most guys in this forum. I wouldn't mind a girl knowing more about me with cars, but only because I admit to know an alarmingly small amount about cars. No one likes to be with someone who beats them at their own game.

But back on topic... I just want to say again that in my opinion you are all blowing this wayyy out of proportion. I don't think girls read into a guy by his car as much a most people here are asserting. Granted, mine is also an assertion without any validation, but times are changing and without a study done in the past 5 years I'd be hard pressed to believe otherwise. At least in the Midwest, I dunno bout you crazy Cali folk the exception is any car that is an order if magnitude more expensive. It's impossible to not make some sort of assumption from that. Anyone driving something around worth more than some houses is saying something about themselves.

Back off topic, for anyone wondering why I have the lotus if I know nothing about cars... I just love to drive. And I do want to gain some more car knowledge since I'm a mechanical engineer and everyone already assumes I know all about them anyways. Ya know, mechanics and mechanical engineers are the same thing. We also operate trains. It's a broad field.

[Tarek]

Correct me if I'm wrong but the issue isn't always about avoiding "gold diggers" but you also have to watch out for those people who lose interest because they find out you're a car guy/gal and they happen to see those people as one dimensional, however untrue that may be. Has anyone else been labeled like that?

[Aedo]

Originally Posted by Tarek

Correct me if I'm wrong but the issue isn't always about avoiding "gold diggers" but you also have to watch out for those people who lose interest because they find out you're a car guy/gal and they happen to see those people as one dimensional, however untrue that may be. Has anyone else been labeled like that?

Yep

Waayyy before I got the Elise though... in school in fact...

But the funniest thing is that she ended up married to a mechanic whose hobby is racing buggies

[GuppyCaptain]

Originally Posted by Tarek

Correct me if I'm wrong but the issue isn't always about avoiding "gold diggers" but you also have to watch out for those people who lose interest because they find out you're a car guy/gal and they happen to see those people as one dimensional, however untrue that may be. Has anyone else been labeled like that?

I've never been labeled as such. Regarding gold diggers, they have their time and place, too. You just have to keep in mind what you're dealing with and keep it in context.