These are fabulous! Keep 'em coming!
Jokes aren't my specialty; can never remember them properly to tell them. No gift for that. Sigh. But here's a couple of 'easy' questions that confuse the heck out of otherwise intelligent people. Try them and see!
1. If an egg and a half cost a cent and a half, how much do twelve eggs cost?
2. How many six cent stamps in a dozen?
And in keeping with the thread:
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.
About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied: "I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I just killed the cow.
An old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.
He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog: "I'm a beautiful, erotic and sensual princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog, but if you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and I will provide you with all the joys and delights of my voluptuous temperament and my ardent lust.
The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.
Bewildered, the frog looked out and asked:
"What, you're not going to kiss me?"
"Nope," replied the old man. "At my age it's more fun to have a talking frog than a sex maniac."
At a convention of biological scientists, one prominent researcher remarked to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?"
"Really?" the other researcher replied. "Why did you switch?"
"Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do."
'05 Elise -Krypton Green, Touring, Hardtop, Starshield