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Notes from the Underpass:

(With apologies to Dostoevsky)


I’ve now driven to FL and back to NJ twice in the Elise. Both times, the trip home entailed stopping only for fuel; my gas gauge and bladder are somehow synched.

Some observations:

1. Why is flashing headlights seen as a negative and/or aggressive act? Given the common alternative (tailgating a couple of feet away), it seems fine to me. Isn’t this simply the automotive equivalent of saying “Ahem, excuse me”?

Does ANYONE ever get pulled over for tailgating, not signaling, cutting others off, etc???????? I have never seen this happen. Police seem to ignore this behavior right in front of them and only go for speeders.


2. I know NASCAR is really big down south, but is drafting my little Elise from 2’ back really going to help either of us? Especially when you’re in an SUV? I will gladly move over when opportunity presents.


3. On 95 S, I honked at a giant SUV coming into my (left) lane w/o looking, w/o signals. I was NOT in his blind spot, but beside him. I honk, he looks at me angrily and presumably curses. What was my fault? Existing?


4. Passing on the right: Not good in a small car. I turn my headlights on, keep my finger on the horn button and get back to the LH lane ASAP.

Meanwhile, I am surprised at the number of people who will pass on the far right when traffic ahead is merging from an entrance lane. First, this is dangerous. Second, it means your pass is likely to be unsuccessful. (1 or 2 passed using the entrances/exits as an extra lane.)


5. I pull into a gas station full of Harleys & Hell’s Angels types. All the pumps but two are blocked by motorcycles that have already filled up. The HAs are standing off to the side talking. Tsk…impolite, not good for station operator.

What is with their costumes? Do they call one another in the morning to check what everyone else is wearing? (No, of course not. They always wear the same thing.)

Don’t they see the absurdity of their costumes, given that they are probably bookkeepers in real life? (Better that they wore safety-appropriate m/c gear, but no…)


6. What’s with peoples’ sense of spatial relationships? Every hour or so, someone comes rushing up in the middle lane, then jams on the brakes when they reach the car in front of them. What did they expect, that this car would levitate out of the way??


7. To the Scion XB, Saturns, Hondas, etc. with whom I share the road:

No, we are NOT racing. I am in the left lane simply going faster than you. How can you tell? I wasn’t there when you left this morning!!

This is not an invitation to speed up. I am going at my speed, you were going at yours. Please resume.


8. To the Mustang drivers: Yes, I can hear your loud exhaust. Yes, it’s very impressive how quickly you accelerated up to the car that was 20’ ahead of you. I’m in awe…or awwww.


9. It is clearly true: Drivers don’t look more than about 30’ ahead.


10. A giant SUV or P/U truck on old, knobby tires may not be the best vehicle for racing or doing 120 mph. Just a guess.


11. Most common make of car broken & on side of road: Chrysler, mostly Jeep.
 

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Discussion Starter #3

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4. Passing on the right: Not good in a small car. I turn my headlights on, keep my finger on the horn button and get back to the LH lane ASAP.

Meanwhile, I am surprised at the number of people who will pass on the far right when traffic ahead is merging from an entrance lane. First, this is dangerous. Second, it means your pass is likely to be unsuccessful. (1 or 2 passed using the entrances/exits as an extra lane.)
Do you stay in the left lane? tsk tsk.
 

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Welcome to America

What you have just outlined/described is not unique to the I-95 corridor. Its nationwide...with a few exceptions.

For some reason driving a Lotus can also bring out the worst in some folks, i.e., teenagers in any vehicle, king-of-the-world Rednecks in Monster Trucks, etc.

When in doubt, always proceed w/caution, but in a worst case scenario, keep the Desert Eagle handy. Just Kidding. Mostly.
 

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Do you stay in the left lane? tsk tsk.
Brian - No, as you read, I don't. But, I don't like being on the right of other vehicles esp LARGE ones.

I am not a member of the Anti-Destination League.;)
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
+1

I was looking for you Gilbert on 216 North Road and wondred where you are. By the way, i have some of these observations every time I take my elise to NYC and back.
Thanks.

I am 2 miles east of the Rt24 & Rt 513 intersection, on the RH side. 513 = North Rd.

When you see the wooden sign for Black River Park/Reservation, it's .2 miles from me.

Mailbox is green w/yellow stripes. Imagine that.:wave:

NOTE: You can only look @ the RH side numbers, as the LH numbers do not correlate.

If you still have my phone number, call me. If not, pm me.

I have no sense of direction and cannot live w/o GPS. If Lewis and Clark had me along with them when they left, this whole friggin' country would still be stuck on the east coast.

I will be (stuck) here until 7/19. The state has recommended I not drive for a while. Could be a pollution thing, could be doing 57 over the limit. Who can tell??

Um.....can you give me a ride to Shoprite?? (not really kidding...;)
 

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Discussion Starter #10
What you have just outlined/described is not unique to the I-95 corridor. Its nationwide...with a few exceptions.

For some reason driving a Lotus can also bring out the worst in some folks, i.e., teenagers in any vehicle, king-of-the-world Rednecks in Monster Trucks, etc.

When in doubt, always proceed w/caution, but in a worst case scenario, keep the Desert Eagle handy. Just Kidding. Mostly.
BR -

thx, I know you are right. Was just as bad with my TT supra. [sigh]

I hesitate to ask what a Desert Eagle is? I'm hoping it's not your pet name for some body part.

A gun?? A bird of prey that attacks other drivers on command?

(MOST immovable object: A MD p/u truck driver doing 10 under the limit in LH lane...)
 

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Brian - No, as you read, I don't. But, I don't like being on the right of other vehicles esp LARGE ones.

I am not a member of the Anti-Destination League.;)
ahhh good to hear. ;)

I don't know why that bugs me so much, but... it do.
 

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This is a Desert Eagle (.50 Caliber pistol), as used by Thugs everywhere (esp. in gangsta movies). For clarification, I don't own any firearms or advocate vigilante justice etc....

 

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Haha that was a good read, thanks :)
 

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:) Great read, thanks. I recently drove to Utah and back in the same, non-stop fashion. It IS scary out there. Don't know about you, but by the time I reached home, my eardrums were ringing for about three hours. Did you use ear plugs?
 

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As George Carlin used to say (may he RIP)...

"Everywhere I go - the worlds worst drivers seem to always follow me!"
and then there is:

"Have you ever noticed that those driving slower than you are all MORONS, and those driving faster than you are MANIACS?!"

Just remember though, wherever you go... There you are! ;)
 

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This is a Desert Eagle (.50 Caliber pistol), as used by Thugs everywhere (esp. in gangsta movies). For clarification, I don't own any firearms or advocate vigilante justice etc....



My army buddy told me the recoil is so strong on the Deagle that if you don't know how to hold/operate a gun properly, you can break your wrist. :eek:
 

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I will be (stuck) here until 7/19. The state has recommended I not drive for a while. Could be a pollution thing, could be doing 57 over the limit. Who can tell??
Yikes... -eek- I guess you're not kidding... i hope that's not going to cause you a lot of trouble...

And you know us, we'd love to hear details if you feel it's prudent...
 

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Yes - Hammers to the forehead quite funny

My army buddy told me the recoil is so strong on the Deagle that if you don't know how to hold/operate a gun properly, you can break your wrist. :eek:
YouTube has a number of entertaining videos of people that don't know how to hold/grip guns hurting themselves with various hand cannons, including DEs and Magnum BFRs -

FYI, DEs are Made in Israel - hence the name - although Magnum Research is based in MN -
 

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you better hope your first shot with the DE hits cause after your first shot you have to re-acquire your target and you hand is bruised... better to just put 10+ 9mm bullets in whatever you wanted to shoot at instead of MAYBE two shots with the DE
 
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