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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Proof positive that many of you were correct: I can politicize almost anything...

My friend sent me some napkins:


Doug –

Thank you again for the Republican-insignia napkins you sent me. You know I thought it was pretty funny when I got them.

Well, I just wanted you to know... I ran out of napkins this week and had to use yours. There were a couple of problems, though:

They were incapable of absorbing anything around them.

Their colors ran.

They look strong, but they’re not.

They’re much more expensive than regular napkins.

For no reason at all, they attacked the coffee filters. They lost. Now, they're stuck in the cupboard.


Thanks anyway.



=gb=
 

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Hey, at least you'd be able to depreciate the entire cost of these napkins in the first year.
:up:
 

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I had some democratic napkins that I had worked very hard to save up and buy, but I had to give them away to a family on Welfare. They then proceeded to use them to clean the rims on their Escalade. I intended to hang on to them so that I could wave them as a white flag whenever the going got tough.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I had some democratic napkins that I had worked very hard to save up and buy, but I had to give them away to a family on Welfare. They then proceeded to use them to clean the rims on their Escalade. I intended to hang on to them so that I could wave them as a white flag whenever the going got tough.
Ian -

welcome to my over-reaching generalization club.

could've been funnier, tho, and w/a bit more truth to it.

Welfare really isn't affecting the economy much, if one looks at the figures.

Historically, the USA has done better w/Dems, in economy and in war.

Don't get me wrong, tho, I liked your post.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Hey, at least you'd be able to depreciate the entire cost of these napkins in the first year.
:up:
they were a gift...
 

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LOL this reminds me of an email i got around christmas time. I'll have to see if i can find it. It was Republican vs. Democratic "Holiday Greetings"

Same concept, just poking fun at the dem's instead. The republican one simply said "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year", and the democratic one was three or four paragraphs long with a bunch of dislaimers and C.Y.A. type phrases, obviously not "discrimating" against any one type of faith, religion, or belief. I love political satire like this LOL
 

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I am sure either version of these napkins(rep or dem) would be excellent for wiping my arse after floating a steamer.

too bad we americans have to squabble so much amongst ourselves.


does anyone remember the Osama urinal cakes?
 

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Ian -

welcome to my over-reaching generalization club.

could've been funnier, tho, and w/a bit more truth to it.

Welfare really isn't affecting the economy much, if one looks at the figures.

Historically, the USA has done better w/Dems, in economy and in war.

Don't get me wrong, tho, I liked your post.
O.K. Let me try again.

I had given a little bit of my money every month to purchase some democratic napkins. I cut my finger very badly at a picnic and needed something to apply pressure. I tried to get my napkins, but under our new national healthcare plan, I had already surpassed my ration of napkins for wound healing purposes. My name was added to an 8 month wait list and I bled out. :p
 

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as a matter of fact I saw Democratic napkins in the store the other day, and almost bought some....but I couldnt afford the tax on them.....


glb do you have a roll of these?


I hear it works well if you wipe with the right hand, but if you try to use the left, your finger will go right through itrotfl
 

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:popcorn:
 

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glb said:
They were incapable of absorbing anything around them.

Their colors ran.

They look strong, but they’re not.

They’re much more expensive than regular napkins.

For no reason at all, they attacked the coffee filters. They lost. Now, they're stuck in the cupboard.
Democratic napkins:
  1. You buy a pack of 1000 napkins, but you only get to keep 500 of them.

  2. The colors start as red, white, and blue, but quickly fade to red, white, and green ;)

  3. They look flimsy, and yep, they are! :D

  4. They're also much more expensive than regular napkins

  5. People laugh at you for blindly sticking your face into the business-end of an ass!

  6. Oh yeah, and they're "Hecho en México." :)
they were a gift...
The cost doesn't really affect you, then, does it? ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Democratic napkins:
  1. You buy a pack of 1000 napkins, but you only get to keep 500 of them.


  1. Yes, but your children will shortly owe 4000.


    The colors start as red, white, and blue, but quickly fade to red, white, and green ;)
    Yup, the green is a tribute to the memory of the billions misplaced in Iraq, taken from lobbyists, or made on the war.


    They look flimsy, and yep, they are! :D
    Yes, all napkins are flimsy, but some pretend otherwise.


    They're also much more expensive than regular napkins
    Nah, everyone does better when they use the good (i.e. Democratic) ones. Plus, they're fluffy.

    People laugh at you for blindly sticking your face into the business-end of an ass!
    The world laughs at us for electing one, no?

    Oh yeah, and they're "Hecho en México." :)
    You mean Ellen's ex-girlfriend? SHE's Mexican?

    The cost doesn't really affect you, then, does it? ;)

    Well...I can't depreciate them, can I?
 

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Discussion Starter #14
as a matter of fact I saw Democratic napkins in the store the other day, and almost bought some....but I couldnt afford the tax on them.....


glb do you have a roll of these?


I hear it works well if you wipe with the right hand, but if you try to use the left, your finger will go right through itrotfl
I could afford the tax, but not the toilet paper.

Actually, it wouldn't fit my decor, as I decided not to go with the "Miserable Failure" look. That I saved for the bedroom.

Truthfully, the only bath guests use is decorated in "Pyscho" stuff: Shower curtain, "Bates Motel" towels, a postcard, AH autograph, etc.

I tried to find the shower curtain with Norman dressed as mom, about to slash the woman in the shower, but can't find it anymore. Had to settle for ripped, bloody curtain.

Gee.....do you think this is why women never come over twice???????
 

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A little preventative medicine here...as fun as this thread is, it is a political thread and we all know how they can be rife with emotion, so .....
 

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Well...I can't depreciate them, can I?
Nope - not since they were distributed as part of a government program. Of course, with the trade agreement, I'm sort of surprised all the napkins don't look more like this one. Did you happen to flip them over? Was this on the reverse?
 

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Ian -

welcome to my over-reaching generalization club.

could've been funnier, tho, and w/a bit more truth to it.

Welfare really isn't affecting the economy much, if one looks at the figures.

Historically, the USA has done better w/Dems, in economy and in war.
Nice...:clap:
 

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Never understood the republican vs. democrat thing...they're extremely close together in the political spectrum. Republicans want my children to be forced to pray and democrats want my children to be forced to say the pledge in spanish and pay for people that don't want to work. :shrug:

We have vastly, vastly deeper problems than that. Inflation anyone? (And the political affilitation of our president has little to do with that)
 

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Never understood the republican vs. democrat thing...they're extremely close together in the political spectrum. Republicans want my children to be forced to pray and democrats want my children to be forced to say the pledge in spanish and pay for people that don't want to work. :shrug:

We have vastly, vastly deeper problems than that. Inflation anyone? (And the political affilitation of our president has little to do with that)
Whatever the differences, the fact that Democrat and Republican Senators and Congressmen can't seem to work together to just do their jobs successfully is unbelievable.

That's what they were hired for.

If they can't do the job, they should be fired and replaced.
 

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Whatever the differences, the fact that Democrat and Republican Senators and Congressmen can't seem to work together to just do their jobs successfully is unbelievable.

That's what they were hired for.

If they can't do the job, they should be fired and replaced.
I'm personally in support of public execution of corrupt politians (e.g. all of them)

With that said, I'd rather them sit and do nothing currently than passing new and unneccessary legislation. Simply do more harm than good.
 
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