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Discussion Starter #1
Today, remember to exercise your patriotic duty and Vote for Eric! I will restore America to it's former glory with the following 10 executive orders:

1) No more Chinese guitars.

2) Bacon will be allowed back in our schools.

3) Musicians will be PAID - just prove you can sing without AutoTune, write great songs and skillfully play a real instrument.

4) DJs will be assigned to labor camps where they will toil on treadmills all day long producing clean energy while mitigating douchebaggery.

5) I will end the war on women. No longer will you be forced into those oppressive harnesses - bras will be outlawed! Fly, be free!

6) All new cars will be rear wheel drive, have manual transmissions, 500 horsepower and convertible tops. Former Prius owners will be forced to ride the bus.

7) There will be 10 new seasons of The Rockford Files. And Baretta will FINALLY be available on DVD.

8) No more of this turning-the-clock-back nonsense for the fall and winter.

9) Congressional spending will be limited to whatever is in their pocket, which will be whatever tips they earned moonlighting at the Blue Duck Tavern.

10) The first Tuesday of each week will be "Awesome Eric Day" and all the beer is free.
 

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You sound better than the two bozos we have running already, you have my vote!
 

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Today, remember to exercise your patriotic duty and Vote for Eric! I will restore America to it's former glory with the following 10 executive orders:

1) No more Chinese guitars.
No problem. My Johnson Stratocaster-clone was made in Yuma, Arizona, in the good old U S of A, and my slide was made right here in Minnesota.

:up:
 

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Wrong country

If you came to Canada, you will actually get elected!

...and women here are allowed to go topless to be equal with men who could always go shirtless. It is the law, no kidding.

Anton

Today, remember to exercise your patriotic duty and Vote for Eric! I will restore America to it's former glory with the following 10 executive orders:

1) No more Chinese guitars.

2) Bacon will be allowed back in our schools.

3) Musicians will be PAID - just prove you can sing without AutoTune, write great songs and skillfully play a real instrument.

4) DJs will be assigned to labor camps where they will toil on treadmills all day long producing clean energy while mitigating douchebaggery.

5) I will end the war on women. No longer will you be forced into those oppressive harnesses - bras will be outlawed! Fly, be free!

6) All new cars will be rear wheel drive, have manual transmissions, 500 horsepower and convertible tops. Former Prius owners will be forced to ride the bus.

7) There will be 10 new seasons of The Rockford Files. And Baretta will FINALLY be available on DVD.

8) No more of this turning-the-clock-back nonsense for the fall and winter.

9) Congressional spending will be limited to whatever is in their pocket, which will be whatever tips they earned moonlighting at the Blue Duck Tavern.

10) The first Tuesday of each week will be "Awesome Eric Day" and all the beer is free.
 

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6) All new cars will... have... convertible tops.

can we at least have the option for hardtops?... I personally hate convertibles, especially soft top versions
 

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I hate to be to one to start dirty politics, but....

First and foremost, he is not even a bastard. Clearly trying to misrepresent himself.

1) No more Chinese guitars. What about Banjo's, mandolins, ukuleles. Clearly the guitar lobbyist have him in their pocket!

2) Bacon will be allowed back in our schools. I am for this. It is about time that Kevin completed his education.

3) Musicians will be PAID - just prove you can sing without AutoTune, write great songs and skillfully play a real instrument. This was a close one. Being a big Jimmy Buffett fan; he can write great songs and skillfully play a real interment (if you count 3 cords as skillfully). He can sing without autotune, but he does not always sing in tune:( . But if we expand this to include reality tv shows like the voice and Americas got talent, I am for this point!

4) DJs will be assigned to labor camps where they will toil on treadmills all day long producing clean energy while mitigating douchebaggery. Then who will play the Buffett music? And didnt I see Eric DJing at that wedding a month or so ago?

5) I will end the war on women. No longer will you be forced into those oppressive harnesses - bras will be outlawed! Fly, be free! Now how can you believe this when he orders so much lingerie, unless the lingerie is for himself......

6) All new cars will be rear wheel drive, have manual transmissions, 500 horsepower and convertible tops. Former Prius owners will be forced to ride the bus. You soft hearted, well tanned, liberal. Grow a backbone! Prius owners will be forced to PUSH the bus.

7) There will be 10 new seasons of The Rockford Files. And Baretta will FINALLY be available on DVD. "The 90's called, they want their technology back." its the digital age and Baretta should be downloadable! And as much as I liked watching the Rockford Files, James Garner is getting a little old, (and I dont want to see Arnie resurrect conan the geriatrics either). And what would Jim drive? They dont even make gold firebirds any more? So out of touch Eric

8) No more of this turning-the-clock-back nonsense for the fall and winter. Ok, this is a good idea. But because he is for it, I am against it. I say we turn the clocks forward 30 minuets in the spring and then leave it be, best compromise between daylight savings and standard time.

9) Congressional spending will be limited to whatever is in their pocket, which will be whatever tips they earned moonlighting at the Blue Duck Tavern. Do you really want these slime bags touching your drinks? I say they should be forced to walk behind the bus that the Prius people are pushing, and cleaning up any droppings (think the people who walk behind the elephants at the Ringling Brothers animal parade .)

10) The first Tuesday of each week will be "Awesome Eric Day" and all the beer is free. Again, this just proves that Eric is the beer lobbyist puppet, and trying to suppress drunks of different tastes. I am ok with the "Awesom Eric Day" (told you he was not a bastard), but lets make it open bar day, not just beer day. Just another case of the man trying to say want you can and can not drink.

I am Doug, and I live in a political swing state, so I dont approve of political commercials
 

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I was having an issue with some of those point until I saw "10) The first Tuesday of each week will be "Awesome Eric Day" and all the beer is free. "

For that you got my vote :D
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I hate to be to one to start dirty politics, but....

First and foremost, he is not even a bastard. Clearly trying to misrepresent himself.

5) I will end the war on women. No longer will you be forced into those oppressive harnesses - bras will be outlawed! Fly, be free! Now how can you believe this when he orders so much lingerie, unless the lingerie is for himself......
Okay, how did you hack into my ebay account??

7) There will be 10 new seasons of The Rockford Files. And Baretta will FINALLY be available on DVD. "The 90's called, they want their technology back." its the digital age and Baretta should be downloadable! And as much as I liked watching the Rockford Files, James Garner is getting a little old, (and I dont want to see Arnie resurrect conan the geriatrics either). And what would Jim drive? They dont even make gold firebirds any more? So out of touch Eric
There goes my opponent engaging in Age-ism again!

8) No more of this turning-the-clock-back nonsense for the fall and winter. Ok, this is a good idea. But because he is for it, I am against it. I say we turn the clocks forward 30 minuets in the spring and then leave it be, best compromise between daylight savings and standard time.
...and he doesn't have the guts to take a position on a tough, divisive issue!

10) The first Tuesday of each week will be "Awesome Eric Day" and all the beer is free. Again, this just proves that Eric is the beer lobbyist puppet, and trying to suppress drunks of different tastes. I am ok with the "Awesom Eric Day" (told you he was not a bastard), but lets make it open bar day, not just beer day. Just another case of the man trying to say want you can and can not drink.


Now you're just trying to buy the votes of the fancy drink voter
 

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3) Musicians will be PAID - just prove you can sing without AutoTune, write great songs and skillfully play a real instrument.

4) DJs will be assigned to labor camps where they will toil on treadmills all day long producing clean energy while mitigating douchebaggery.
You have my vote!



Sent from my iPhone using AG Free
 

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Add these to your platform and you have my vote:

- Flat brimmed hats are banned in perpetuity

- Athletes are never allowed to tweet

- Celebrities will never be asked, nor allowed to, give their opinons. On anything. Ever.

- Anyone mentioning 'Travis Barker' when discussing ANY 'greatest drummer' topic will be beaten with Tommy Aldridge's hair

- All kids with peanut allergies and women who are 'gluten free' will be sequestered to a deserted island

- The term 'gate' is as 'Spygate' or 'Bountygate' will be banned forthwith.

- Geeky white people adopting hip hop influenced 'urban speak'. 40 year old suburban women will never be allowed to say 'cray cray' or 'holla atchagirl'

- The media will stop trying to tell me that Tina Fey is hot. Or that the latest 'fat actress' is 'changing the definition of beautiful'

- Taco Tuesday isn't just 'a thing', it's federal law.

- Kate Upton's boobies will be featured on the new $4 bill.

- The Old Testament will be re-written to add 'and on the eight day, the Lord created skinny jeans and high leather boots'

- Harbor Freight will be divided into two - one that houses the cheap chinese crap that it's ok to buy (allen keys, screwdrivers and work gloves) and one that houses stuff that should never be purchased (chinese knock off impact drivers, compressors and power tools).

- All new tv shows trying to exist 'in the vein of Lost' will be trashed before they air.

- Minka Kelly and Kate Beckinsale will star in everything.

- No one will ever be allowed to annoy me.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
SwingLo, you realize that Taco Tuesday lands on Awesome Eric day? Can a civilized society handle that much awesome?
 

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Only if Awesome Eric eats Tacos!

And forgot one:

- All marital courts will acknowledge that 'eating is not cheating' :)
 

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Discussion Starter #17
..and if we sequester the peanut allergics and gluten free broads, what are we going to do with this warehouse full of warning labels? And who will be left to hire the lawyers??
 

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Oh - forgot one.

- Thursday Night Football will be a 'flex schedule' game in which only teams with winning records or games that matter will be featured. The Kansas City Chiefs will never play a nationally televise game ever again.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Don't ban the flat brimmed hats, just exile those that reside under them. That should solve the Travis Barker problem as well. See how efficient my government will be?
 

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What about chinstrap beards and 'TAPOUT' anything?
 
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