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<embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/72125/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/CHILD_SOLDIERS_ORIGINAL.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true&title=Report%3A%20American%20Schools%20Trail%20Behind%20World%20In%20Aptitude%20Of%20Child%20Soldiers"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_american_schools_trail?utm_source=embedded_video">Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers</a>