The Lotus Cars Community banner
1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
216 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Between sunroofs, T-tops, targas and convertibles, I estimate that I have driven over 700,000 miles in open-top cars in my life, so I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, but still it managed to come as a surprise.

Yep, that's right; a bird crapped on my head while I was driving. :D

(Technically, he crapped on my headrest, with splatter to my head, shirt, the rest of the seat, the rear view mirror and the passenger side floor, but why split hairs?)

There I was, driving along in the Elise, minding my own business, when a big ol' crow decided to use me for target practice. (I'm quite thankful I had stopped looking up at this crow before he decided to let loose.)

Perhaps the most surprising thing is that I am nowhere near as pissed off as I always thought I would be if this were to happen. Instead I am struck by the ridiculousness of the situation and have to laugh.

Of course, it might have been more amusing if it hadn't occurred while I was on my way to getting gas, thus causing me to turn around and come home to change shirts and wash my hair and the car's interior, all the while hoping I'd have enough gas to get back to my local station once I was done.

Anyway, I'm hoping I'm probably good for another 700,000 miles.

Feel free to laugh it up. :)
 

·
www.theapexinn.com
Joined
·
11,689 Posts
Supposed to be good luck........go play the lottery !
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
365 Posts
That's not funny at all :thwack: The Avian horde is getting bolder and more targeted with their attacks. Why should we excuse this supposedly "accidental" defecation?

We get mad when people pee on our Lotuses
We get mad when people spit and throw things at our Lotuses

If this had been a person who crapped on your car, it wouldn't be so funny - though admittedly, I'd be pretty curious how a person was able to hover several feet above the car during the act :shrug:. You need to track this bird down and make an example of it in front of its gang of fellow crows.

A call to action is in order. If you don't stand up to this bird now, it opens the floodgates on all of us. That's how it started last time!

....sometimes, in my nightmares....I can still hear the chirping....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
135 Posts
Well Im glad it happened to you at a time you were nt doign some spirited driving. Ive had this happen to me on a motorcycle but was fortunate enough to have my full face helmet on. Definetely a surprise lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
A call to action is in order. If you don't stand up to this bird now, it opens the floodgates on all of us. That's how it started last time!
I'm with toedrag on this! Accident my arse! I have decided to speed up every time I see a bird fly across the road in front of me!

BIRDS prefer to drop their poop on white cars, a scientific study has revealed.
Researchers reached the conclusion after COUNTING bird droppings on 2,000 motors.

They also found dark cars, particularly navy blue and black, were likely to escape without any blemishes.

But while white was the danger colour, one red Mitsubishi Space Wagon took a pasting with 53 individual bits of bird mess.

Student teacher Charles West, 37, carried out the survey for his department of education at Bristol University.

He enrolled FORTY researchers ? other student teachers developing a field work project for GCSE pupils.

Bird expert Dr Derek Toomer said the birds might “bomb” white cars because they associate the colour with predators.
He added: “Birds do respond to colours.”
Actually, I've known the real truth of this situation all along. It has nothing to do with predator / color association response; it is simple science. We all know that hot air rises and that darker surfaces get hotter and consequently the air over dark surfaces rises; the inverse is also true, the air over light surfaces is falls. Birds, having bird brains, are simple, yet openly hostile critters and their actions are governed largely by physics while in flight. So what is going on? Well, a bird in flight will generally want to maintain flight speed velocity and altitude (this is especially true of African sparrows carrying coconuts) at all times. When they fly over a light colored car they will naturally encounter a down draft and, in an attempt to maintain altitude, they will release the only ballast they have. Because of the way gravity works, the result is that your nice light colored car, or shiny balding head, will have a close encounter of the turd kind.

This is why I purchased a GG Elise. I also wear a dark colored hat when the top is down. As a motorcyclist I have also learned to keep my mouth shut while in motion to prevent intake of unwanted protein. Oh yeah, never park withing 3 miles of a mulberry tree.
:shift:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,212 Posts
It was only a matter of time. You knew it was coming. you've seen them as they sit on the lamp posts, power lines, in the trees, on the road signs, and under the overpasses. Those flying rats with wings are on the lookout for open tops, nice freshly washed and waxed vehicles, new with the dealers sticker still attached cars, and most of all.... motorcycles.
Have you ever noticed how there is usually one bird sitting slightly apart from the rest? that's the spotter and his job is to pick out the choicest target.
You know it's an evil plot. Why else would they sit up there, ready and loaded, all facing the same direction?
the odds are against us my friends. It's time to fight back and shoot those flying dumpsters out of the skies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
79 Posts
Heh heh. I don't have the impressive log of miles like you do... I have probably only done about 70,000 miles in open top / motorcycles... When I first started driving a convertible, I was convinced that something bad would happen though :) At least it didn't get ya in the face - this time! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
438 Posts
Im glad to hear it was bird poop. When i first started reading and you said you had logged some 700,000 miles under the open sun, I thought you were going to say it was cancer.

But on topic, I have often feared this while driving near the beach.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Always carry a shotgun in the car; Enemies are everywhere.
Does anyone know where to get a lightweight sawed-off alloy shotgun suitable for a Lotus? Also, a lead on titanium rounds would be appreciated. Let's teach these feathered air-rats a lesson! rotfl


 

·
Registered
Joined
·
398 Posts
I was at the San Francisco Yach club last week attending an event hosted by a friend on his boat... in my absense, the open Elise got dive-bombed. Crap all over the rear clam, driver door, left front clam, and driver's seat. I didn't realize birds had spraying diarrhea.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
485 Posts
20 years of patient training and finally my sweet sweet revenge! :nanner:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
244 Posts
Perhaps the most surprising thing is that I am nowhere near as pissed off as I always thought I would be if this were to happen. Instead I am struck by the ridiculousness of the situation and have to laugh.
My thoughts exactly. Its more fun to laugh than it is to get pissed off. :D

All the variables involved in order to make that happen, gotta give that bird some credit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,623 Posts
Has anyone else noticed that birds are less likely to get out of the way when standing in the path of an oncoming Lotus Elise than most cars? I've already slaughtered my share. Last time, I was almost positive the pigeon in question would get out of the way - I was driving directly toward it, I saw it half a block away, and I was sure it saw and heard me as well. But I realized when I was within 20 feet that this pigeon wanted to play a game of chicken, and an innocent bystander (standing within 6 feet of the pigeon) realized it too and yelled something like "HEY!" to alert me of what I was about to do. But alas, it was too late and as I looked in the rear view mirror I saw the cloud of feathers rising up around said bystander. He looked quite unimpressed.

I now know that it was only one battle on one front in what is a perpetual war.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,328 Posts
I had thoroughly washed and detailed my G500 (and i rarely wash either car) and drove it down to san luis obispo. I went with some friends to brunch on the coast, and when i walked out to my car afterward we thought someone had vandalized my car by throwing a pitcher of white paint on it... upon further inspection i found that it was in fact that a flock of probably 20-30 birds (probably seagulls) had dive bombed my car and COVERED it... and the roof of the G500 (which is 6'5" tall so you can't see it until you get up on the running boards) was even worse off than the side of the car... which is what i saw which made me think it was vandalized. And my sun roof was cracked so i did get a bit of splatter in my car. My car HAD to have been intentionally targetted by those birds.

Subsequent to that here at work, our receptionist had the pleasure of watching a car get targetted twice by a flock of birds. She heard and saw them hit it once... then a couple minutes later they did it again. It was covered...

This is part of why i almost always put the Sector111 shower cap on my car if i leave it top off when parked.

Side clif claven fact, birds digestive systems only have one exit... the solid and liquid wastes come from the same place, so their diet substantially affect the consistency of what the bird drops.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
216 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Hi all,

Thanks for your comments and stories. My wife and I got a kick out of some of your responses. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Has anyone else noticed that birds are less likely to get out of the way when standing in the path of an oncoming Lotus Elise than most cars? .... I now know that it was only one battle on one front in what is a perpetual war.
Drive on! I've only been a Lotus owner for 2 weeks and I've already got one notch on my dipstick. I have noticed that birds on the ground ignore a Lotus. There are frequently birds squating on the road in my neighborhood and they seem to not be able to detect a moving Lotus (from the ground anyway). Two days ago... bird on the road... I slow down... bird should move but doesn't....flat bird and flying feathers. Got the sumbitch with the left front tire! Birds! Be warned, I am keeping score! Exactly how many are needed to be an Ace?



This was actually one of the reasons that I posted the "Lotus Paradox: Invisible or Highly Visible" thread. I can't understand why some people (and birds) can't see it and the rest seem to get, as Randy Chase says, Target Fixation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,333 Posts
Let's all be thankful that cows don't fly.
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top