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Discussion Starter #1
I’m mechanically dysfunctional….But I still love my Lotus

Just look over some recent posts:

"GROUP BUY!!! Ninja 4fjhp7 DIFFUSERS!"
"Carbon Fiber door INSERTS!"

My perception of an “upgrade” to my Lotus is a pair of high grade, kid leather, driving gloves. Nice, soft ones.

It took me a few minutes to even find out what a diffuser is.

My mechanical abilities are limited to washing, waxing, and dare I say it, actually measuring the oil with the dip stick and topping it off to the “full” mark. I am even terrified to do that, as the dealership told me: “Don’t overfill it, or you’ll blow the engine”.

If I can blow an engine, I will find a way to do it. Trust me.

So, I put 8 ounces of oil into the engine, and about the same amount on the floor of my garage.

YES! That is how we mechanical dysfunctional people do it!! If I had a FUNNEL, but since I am also not ORGANIZED, I wouldn’t be able to find the damn funnel.

So, after a couple of years on this forum, I think that it is pretty obvious that one portion of its members actually DO “mods”, and understand the “mechanical” aspects of these cars, while me and the other mechanically dysfunctional Lotus owners, just look at you guys, and just wonder.

HOWEVER…….I do note that we dysfunctional mechanical owners take VERY pretty pictures of our cars, because that’s what we do, because we are very creative, and, after all, while we don’t install diffusers, we can do one Hell of a carnauba wax job.

So, this is Gary and Grace, the 2008 Exige S Club Racer, who is 100% Factory Stock, and is going to stay that way FOREVER, not because I couldn’t do mods if I wanted……..but because I am……… Mechanically Dysfunctional.

See ya later. Gotta go into the garage and put some leather conditioner on the seats. (Got to remember not to slip in that pool of oil)


THANK GOD FOR TJ………………

 

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I pretty mechanically inclined but I cant wash, wax or detail a car very well. I used to use a made up satirical saying "we all have stars in different baskets".
 

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The beauty of having a 2008 exige S club racer is that an owner of a 2005 elise has to do a lot of mods, just to get the elise up to where your car is now.
 

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I usually let the rain wash my vehicles, but I can fix most anything that has wheels or tracks. If you walked in my garage right now you'd wonder how I can get anything done, have crap torn apart in various stages all over the place.
 

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Closer than you think
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Gary,

That's the cool thing about a club racer... any real mods would just detract from its value. Perfect car if you're not into anything more than wash and wax.
 

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Gary, I say.....If you can afford a Club racer it's fine to be MECHANICALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL...

My dearest friend, if you don't mind
I'd like to join you in the passenger side
Where we can race into the stars

And drive together, now and forever
For it is plain as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be....

P.S. I'm not gay, not right now but if I were president Obama approves this message...
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Gary, I say.....If you can afford a Club racer it's fine to be MECHANICALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL...

My dearest friend, if you don't mind
I'd like to join you in the passenger side
Where we can race into the stars

And drive together, now and forever
For it is plain as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be....

P.S. I'm not gay, not right now but if I was president Obama approves this message...
You had me until the P.S.
I'm supporting Romney, as he has promised:
1. To raise the Utah speeed limit to 155
2. To remove front plate requirements
3. To restart making readily available 98 octane fuel
4. To stop installing seat belt buzzers
5. To give Lotus $1 Billion in bail-out money, so by 2016, I'll have a 6
cylinder matching Club Racer Exige(yes, that's a flip-flop)
 

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I can do just about anything to a vehicle, but unless it's a snapped axle in the middle of the woods in my 4x4, I choose to let Jimmy do the work on all my cars...

/Lazy????
 

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Back to the Future, again
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6,154 Posts
I'm way more mechanically inclined than you, buddy!

I have a 6-pack of Mobil 1 synthetic and 4 funnels of various sizes in a plastic bag on a shelf next to the car. I've used a few quarts too... not on the Lotus... actually... haven't used any oil for a while because I have no idea where the dipstick is on the Lotus... but I have added oil to my Ford DD before.

And I have changed out the valve stems for pretty aftermarket chrome anodized ones and I made sure not to overtighten them and damage the threads... also... I ummm... put pretty stickers on some places, then I plugged an AUX cord from the stereo jack to the iPod jack, thus completing an iPod install in my car, then I plugged in an USB power jack to the cigarette lighter hole and plugged in my phone so now my car is mobile electronic communication enhanced with the uber-awesome Android navigation system.

Can't think of any other DIY mods, but I have some vacation time coming up so I might think about getting some leather conditioner on the car seats and take a day or two to clip a battery tender lead to the car. That's going to take a while since it involves the electrical system so I want to be extra careful.
 

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Back to the Future, again
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Notorious, you had me completely fooled, where did I get you owned an Evora? :shrug:
I've been talking about getting an Evora to replace my Elise for the last week. Then I keep heating about the reliability... Then seeing the GTE wing costing $5k before installation didn't help my decision any.
 
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