The modulus of elasticity of steel is relatively constant, regardless of heat treatment or alloy characteristics, which are what determine strength.
This means that yes, the modulus of elasticity for Gr2 bolts is the same as Gr8, 8.8, 12.9, etc. For a given torque, as long as they don't yield, they will provide the same clamping force, and the stretch the same amount.
'Normal' bolts do not yield when you tighten them, the only case where a bolt would yield is a plastic region bolt such as a cylinder head bolt. The reason this is done is that the torque-clamping force curve levels out for a little bit once the bolt enters the plastic region (yields), meaning that even when someone overtightens the bolt, the clamping force stays the same.
Anyway, in the case of suspension bolts, they should not ever yield.
Now, bolted joints in shear are a whole different discussion:
A properly design shear connection does not involve the bolt resisting any shear forces. The bolt only provides sufficient clamping force that the friction between the clamped parts resists shear. In the case of suspension, this is typically the inner steel sleeve through a bushing. The bolt clamps the attachment points on the frame around the sleeve with enough clamping force that the sleeve does not move relative to the frame. The bushings then ride on this sleeve. Think about it this way: if the bolt was in shear, then that sleeve would have to be press fit around the bolt, otherwise the sleeve would rattle around on the bolt.
This is less obvious on structural shear connections, but just as true: the surface area of the connection is what defines how many bolts are needed, not the shear strength of the bolt.
Now, as far as the difference between soft, weak bolts (Gr5) and hard, strong bolts (Gr8): The main consideration in many cases is actually hardness more than strength. If the bolt experiences any wear, it needs to be hard.
The yield/ultimate strength of the bolt should be only relevant if the joint fails to work as designed. Either the bolt comes loose, or it is overloaded such that clamping force/friction is not sufficient. The difference is what happens in that situation.
A softer steel will have a lot more strain between yield and ultimate failure. A harder material will be more brittle. What this means is that Gr5 bolts will typically bend, Gr8 will break. So in choosing fasteners, we are concerned with what the failure mode will be if the joint becomes loose or overloaded. Since it is basically impossible to predict what the load will be in such a failure scenario, it is often better to assume that the load will be so high that even the stronger bolt will fail, in which case we may want to use the softer bolt in the hope that it will bend rather than break, which, in the case of a control arm for example, leaves us with some damaged parts as opposed to a wheel leaving the vehicle.
This is why it is not always a good idea to substitute Gr8 bolts for Gr5.
As far as who is or isn't an engineer, what does it matter? I am one, and am wrong at least 90% of the time (according to my wife). Many engineers I know are totally full of it, and many mechanics or machinists I know, know twice as much actual engineering.